Now is Not Too Late
by moony23
Summary: When Remus finds love at Hogwarts, he is terrified of telling her the truth about himself. Little does he know that what's in store will bring him happiness- and regret.
1. Chapter 1 The Beginning

I'm lying awake again. I just had that dream. That dream that brings back memories, oh-so-sweet mermories of years gone by. The days I was surrounded by the best of friends... and you, Diana. Your face haunts me; it always did. Your eyes especially. Filled with love, affection, and caring, I curse myself. What a fool I was, I berate myself for the thousandth time. And now it's too late. I abandoned the love of my life and you hate me, loathe me for bringing you heartache. You must. You loved me a lot, and then, that day, I just vanished. I remember quite clearly a time I was alone... completely alone. You were one of the few people at Hogwarts, or anywhere else for that matter, who became interested in me... and that intrest developed mutually into a stronger, deeper emotion... love. The first time I saw you, I remember thinking that whoever said there was no such thing as love at first sight couldn't have been more wrong. You treated me as an equal, kept me company when so few others were willing to... and for that, I am eternally grateful. Even though you might think I abandoned you willingly, I would have died rather than see you lonely. I was forced to, I had no choice... but I still think about the day I just up and left. Left you to face the cold, cruel world by yourself. Not that you couldn't make it. You had a strong soul and a fierce will. But, you needed someone you could turn to at all times, someone who understood you and could relate to you. During the past two years I've known that all too well... ****** It had been on Platforn 9 3/4 he'd first seen her, surrounded by a group of people. God, she was the finest creature he'd ever laid eyes upon. She had long, golden brown hair, a petite stature, and a sweet smile, but what really captured him most were her eyes. Brilliant green that faded to a warm shade of blue, they had a certain depth he'd never seen in anyone else's. But for some unknown reason, there also had been a trace of sadness, and that unnerved him. She was popular, always surrounded by people because of her great ability to talk to them, and had an air of confidence about her. Remus, on the other hand, could not have been more different. Sure, there were minor differences, like that his eyes were a bright amber, and that his hair light brown, but there were deeper. First off, he'd never been popular. He kept to himself, for reasons he never mentioned. He was always wary around people, and found it easier to accept his solitude and isolation than to try to make friends. He was not confident at all, no, but very shy. Another reason was even deeper. Deeper than blood, although he was a pure blood and she, half. No, it was who he was, what he was that put distance between him and her and made him curse himself all the more. For Remus was a werewolf, bitten as an extremely young boy. So young, in fact, that he couldn't really remember a time he felt this seperate, this apart from the rest of the world. No, for him, he'd always been forced to be alone, terrified someone might find out his horrible secret. His parents- his mother especially- desperately wanted Remus to grow up as normally as possible aside from his lycanthropy, and that meant he would have to go to Hogwarts to become a fully-trained wizard. It seemed impossible, though. Not many parents would want their children exposed to a werewolf. Nor would any person in their right mind admit him there. Unbelivably, the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, allowed him to come. He even made special precautions for him and assured him that his secret was safe. Every month, the day before the day of the full moon, he was to go to Madam Pomfrey, the nurse. He wasn't being forced though; the few days before his transformations were torture for Remus, even without hundreds of other people around him. He felt nervous, increasingly ill, and drained. At least, at home, he could lock himself up in his room or complain to his mother. He wouldn't be able to at Hogwarts, and that made him apprehensive. He wasn't used to hiding those feelings. Remus had been worried about his transformtions too. Dumbledore had it all planned out: the night of the full moon, before it had risen, he was to cross the grounds to a certain tree, specifically a Whomping Willow. He'd prod a certain knot, the tree would open up, he'd crawl down through it. He'd go through a certain tunnel and come out in a certain house in the nearby village Hogsmeade. He'd transform by his lonesome and then, in the morning, he'd whisk away to Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, for her to tend to his injuries. It was simple, but he couldn't help thinking how many things could go wrong. And he had his doubts: what if someone sees me, what if someone finds out, what if I hurt someone, but Dumbledore assured him everything would be fine. It now occured to Remus that he had been staring absentmindedly at the girl for a few moments now. He went to look away, but before he could avert his gaze, she caught his eye and grinned. Although he could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, he managed a small smile back. "All aboard!"a voice cried, breaking his silent reverie. A rush of students push past him and he turned and hurried onto the train. He was hoping for a private compartment. Luckily, he found one near the back. Sighing with relief, he entered and slid shut the door behind him. He had just sat down, though, and placed the book he'd been carrying beside him when there came a knock at the door. He jumped, out of nerves, and gulped, "Y-yes? Who's there?" The door slid open, revealing a tall kid with dark brown, shoulder- length hair, and a playful grin. He was accompanied by another boy, slightly shorter, and with short, extremely messly black hair. He was looking slightly less amused than his companion. "Could we share this compartment? The others are all full." he asked. Remus swallowed and managed to stammer, "Y-yeah, sure..." The two boys clammored in, shutting the door behind them. They sank into the cushiony bench across from Remus. Silence filled the compartment. Remus looked out the window, wanting a distraction. He could tell by the reflection on the glass that the shorter kid was peering good-naturedly at him. He shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. What's he looking at? He wondered tensely. Does he know? Just as the train's steady thrumming turned into motion, Remus looked back at the two boys. The shorter boy extended his hand. "James Potter." Trembling, Remus grasped it in his own and shook. The boy with the long hair offered his hand then. "Sirius Black." Again Remus shook hands, and this time acknowledged them with, "Remus Lupin." "Is this your first year?" James asked. "Uh huh." "Ours too," said Sirius. "Nervous?" More than you could ever know, Remus thought. But of course, he couldn't say that. So instead, he told them, "Yeah, a little, I guess." Sirius looked compassionate, and James assured him, "We are too. But I'm sure everything will be fine." "Maybe even fun." Sirius grinned. "Which house do you want to be in?" James asked kindly. "Oh. I-I guess I never thought about it. Uh, which house do I want to be in? It doesn't matter, but I'll probably get stuck in Slytherin." "What makes you think that?" Sirius said. "Slytherins are nasty, evil people. For what I can tell, totally different from you." Blood rushed to his face as he thought, If you knew what I was you wouldn't say that. No, you'd be running away from me as fast as you could. "Well, I don't know, but I have the worst luck." "Luck has nothing to do with it. You're sorted according to the very essence of who you are." Which proves my point. Where else would a Dark creature belong than with other evil people? Remus sighed. "We'll see." He picked up the Dark Creatures book beside him and flipped to the first chapter: Vampires. Across from him, James produced a set of Wizard's Chess and he and Sirius began to play.  
  
Several chapters and two games later, the compartment door flew open with a bang. All three boys inside jumped and looked up immediately. A short, plump blonde rushed in and slammed the door behind him. Panting, he looked up at the three and said, "Sorry. Two guys were-were threatening me and started chasing me. Can I stay in here?" "Yeah, sure," James told him. He introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and shook everyone's hands. "Now which two idiots were after you?" Sirius asked protectively. "Uhhh... well, there was this tall kid with real greasy black hair, and a HUGE nose, I'm telling you, and then there was this other kid, he wasn't as tall and had real light blonde hair." "Oh, you must be talking about Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy," James said lightly. "We already had a little 'chat' with them about picking on people." "Yeah. You would have thought they'd had learned their lesson, 'specially 'cause they've got some nice reminders every time they look in the mirror," Sirius said, striking a fist into his open hand. Wow, these boys seem so nice. They don't pick on people, and they stick up for others. It would be so cool... no. We can never be friends. As soon as we leave the train, that's it. I can't be around them anymore. I- it's for their own protection. But he couldn't help feeling a pang of longing in his heart. He'd never had friends before and had no doubts that, with some, he wouldn't be as lonely. But he knew that if he did become friends with these-these normal boys, they'd eventually find out. They'd turn against him, shun and ridicule him just like everyone else did. He sighed mentally. But I just want some friends. Friends who will accept me for who and what I am. Friends who will take some of the loneliness out of my life. I guess maybe I could get close to them, but not too close. Who knows what could happen if they found out... ****** "Lupin, Remus," Professor McGonagall's stern voice called off her list. This is it, he thought nervously as he made his way to the stool. Now I'll be doomed to Slytherin. I just hope, that when they find out, they won't tease me too much. He sat on the stool and the Sorting Hat was placed upon his head. "Hmm..." it whispered in his ear. "a great mind, brilliant, quiet, but brave... I see a terrible secret (Remus tensed and thought Don't tell anyone!)... Don't worry, they can't hear us... Very loyal... Now, where to put you? How about GRIFFINDOR!" It shouted the last word for everyone to hear. McGonagall lifted the hat off his head and he walked quickly to the Griffindor table, dazed, despite the applause. Wow... I can't believe it. Me? Griffindor? He sat beside James, Sirius, and Peter, all of which had also been sorted into Griffindor. "What'd I tell you?" Sirius said, grinning. "I guess I owe you an apology." "Just be glad you're not over there with those two idiots!" James said happily, nodding towards the Slytherin table. Remus recognized Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, the ones who'd picked on Peter on the train, immediately. They were both glaring in his direction, with a look of utmost hatred and loathing plastered all over their unpleasant faces. Remus began to panic- did they know? But then he recalled that Sirius and James had mentioned trying to beat some manners into them. He shook himself mentally; he shouldn't be so parinoid. But years of experience taught him to be safe rather than sorry, cautious rather than reckless. Just then, "Wilde, Diana" became a Griffindor. Remus shifted his gaze from the Slytherins to the staff table and saw... her. The girl from the train. She smiled triumphantly upon hearing the Hat's decision and strode confidently over to the Griffindor table. She dropped into the nearest seat- the one right next to Remus. He felt his heart quicken and immediately knew that surely, he'd never felt the same about any girl before. But something about her instantly calmed him. Was it her warm smile or the kind words she offered? "Hello! Isn't it great? Griffindor! I heard that's the best house to be in!" "Uh- yeah. Congratulations!" "Thanks, you too. By the way-" she said, sticking out her hand, "my name's Diana. But you probably already knew that!"  
  
"I'm Remus... pleased to meet you." 


	2. Chapter 2 Suspicion

I'm lying awake again. I just had that dream. That dream that brings back memories, oh-so-sweet mermories of years gone by. The days I was surrounded by the best of friends... and you, Diana. Your face haunts me; it always did. Your eyes especially. Filled with love, affection, and caring, I curse myself. What a fool I was, I berate myself for the thousandth time. And now it's too late. I abandoned the love of my life and you hate me, loathe me for bringing you heartache. You must. You loved me a lot, and then, that day, I just vanished. I remember quite clearly a time I was alone... completely alone. You were one of the few people at Hogwarts, or anywhere else for that matter, who became interested in me... and that intrest developed mutually into a stronger, deeper emotion... love. The first time I saw you, I remember thinking that whoever said there was no such thing as love at first sight couldn't have been more wrong. You treated me as an equal, kept me company when so few others were willing to... and for that, I am eternally grateful. Even though you might think I abandoned you willingly, I would have died rather than see you lonely. I was forced to, I had no choice... but I still think about the day I just up and left. Left you to face the cold, cruel world by yourself. Not that you couldn't make it. You had a strong soul and a fierce will. But, you needed someone you could turn to at all times, someone who understood you and could relate to you. During the past two years I've known that all too well... ****** It had been on Platforn 9 3/4 he'd first seen her, surrounded by a group of people. God, she was the finest creature he'd ever laid eyes upon. She had long, golden brown hair, a petite stature, and a sweet smile, but what really captured him most were her eyes. Brilliant green that faded to a warm shade of blue, they had a certain depth he'd never seen in anyone else's. But for some unknown reason, there also had been a trace of sadness, and that unnerved him. She was popular, always surrounded by people because of her great ability to talk to them, and had an air of confidence about her. Remus, on the other hand, could not have been more different. Sure, there were minor differences, like that his eyes were a bright amber, and that his hair light brown, but there were deeper. First off, he'd never been popular. He kept to himself, for reasons he never mentioned. He was always wary around people, and found it easier to accept his solitude and isolation than to try to make friends. He was not confident at all, no, but very shy. Another reason was even deeper. Deeper than blood, although he was a pure blood and she, half. No, it was who he was, what he was that put distance between him and her and made him curse himself all the more. For Remus was a werewolf, bitten as an extremely young boy. So young, in fact, that he couldn't really remember a time he felt this seperate, this apart from the rest of the world. No, for him, he'd always been forced to be alone, terrified someone might find out his horrible secret. His parents- his mother especially- desperately wanted Remus to grow up as normally as possible aside from his lycanthropy, and that meant he would have to go to Hogwarts to become a fully-trained wizard. It seemed impossible, though. Not many parents would want their children exposed to a werewolf. Nor would any person in their right mind admit him there. Unbelivably, the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, allowed him to come. He even made special precautions for him and assured him that his secret was safe. Every month, the day before the day of the full moon, he was to go to Madam Pomfrey, the nurse. He wasn't being forced though; the few days before his transformations were torture for Remus, even without hundreds of other people around him. He felt nervous, increasingly ill, and drained. At least, at home, he could lock himself up in his room or complain to his mother. He wouldn't be able to at Hogwarts, and that made him apprehensive. He wasn't used to hiding those feelings. Remus had been worried about his transformtions too. Dumbledore had it all planned out: the night of the full moon, before it had risen, he was to cross the grounds to a certain tree, specifically a Whomping Willow. He'd prod a certain knot, the tree would open up, he'd crawl down through it. He'd go through a certain tunnel and come out in a certain house in the nearby village Hogsmeade. He'd transform by his lonesome and then, in the morning, he'd whisk away to Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, for her to tend to his injuries. It was simple, but he couldn't help thinking how many things could go wrong. And he had his doubts: what if someone sees me, what if someone finds out, what if I hurt someone, but Dumbledore assured him everything would be fine. It now occured to Remus that he had been staring absentmindedly at the girl for a few moments now. He went to look away, but before he could avert his gaze, she caught his eye and grinned. Although he could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, he managed a small smile back. "All aboard!"a voice cried, breaking his silent reverie. A rush of students push past him and he turned and hurried onto the train. He was hoping for a private compartment. Luckily, he found one near the back. Sighing with relief, he entered and slid shut the door behind him. He had just sat down, though, and placed the book he'd been carrying beside him when there came a knock at the door. He jumped, out of nerves, and gulped, "Y-yes? Who's there?" The door slid open, revealing a tall kid with dark brown, shoulder- length hair, and a playful grin. He was accompanied by another boy, slightly shorter, and with short, extremely messly black hair. He was looking slightly less amused than his companion. "Could we share this compartment? The others are all full." he asked. Remus swallowed and managed to stammer, "Y-yeah, sure..." The two boys clammored in, shutting the door behind them. They sank into the cushiony bench across from Remus. Silence filled the compartment. Remus looked out the window, wanting a distraction. He could tell by the reflection on the glass that the shorter kid was peering good-naturedly at him. He shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. What's he looking at? He wondered tensely. Does he know? Just as the train's steady thrumming turned into motion, Remus looked back at the two boys. The shorter boy extended his hand. "James Potter." Trembling, Remus grasped it in his own and shook. The boy with the long hair offered his hand then. "Sirius Black." Again Remus shook hands, and this time acknowledged them with, "Remus Lupin." "Is this your first year?" James asked. "Uh huh." "Ours too," said Sirius. "Nervous?" More than you could ever know, Remus thought. But of course, he couldn't say that. So instead, he told them, "Yeah, a little, I guess." Sirius looked compassionate, and James assured him, "We are too. But I'm sure everything will be fine." "Maybe even fun." Sirius grinned. "Which house do you want to be in?" James asked kindly. "Oh. I-I guess I never thought about it. Uh, which house do I want to be in? It doesn't matter, but I'll probably get stuck in Slytherin." "What makes you think that?" Sirius said. "Slytherins are nasty, evil people. For what I can tell, totally different from you." Blood rushed to his face as he thought, If you knew what I was you wouldn't say that. No, you'd be running away from me as fast as you could. "Well, I don't know, but I have the worst luck." "Luck has nothing to do with it. You're sorted according to the very essence of who you are." Which proves my point. Where else would a Dark creature belong than with other evil people? Remus sighed. "We'll see." He picked up the Dark Creatures book beside him and flipped to the first chapter: Vampires. Across from him, James produced a set of Wizard's Chess and he and Sirius began to play.  
  
Several chapters and two games later, the compartment door flew open with a bang. All three boys inside jumped and looked up immediately. A short, plump blonde rushed in and slammed the door behind him. Panting, he looked up at the three and said, "Sorry. Two guys were-were threatening me and started chasing me. Can I stay in here?" "Yeah, sure," James told him. He introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and shook everyone's hands. "Now which two idiots were after you?" Sirius asked protectively. "Uhhh... well, there was this tall kid with real greasy black hair, and a HUGE nose, I'm telling you, and then there was this other kid, he wasn't as tall and had real light blonde hair." "Oh, you must be talking about Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy," James said lightly. "We already had a little 'chat' with them about picking on people." "Yeah. You would have thought they'd had learned their lesson, 'specially 'cause they've got some nice reminders every time they look in the mirror," Sirius said, striking a fist into his open hand. Wow, these boys seem so nice. They don't pick on people, and they stick up for others. It would be so cool... no. We can never be friends. As soon as we leave the train, that's it. I can't be around them anymore. I- it's for their own protection. But he couldn't help feeling a pang of longing in his heart. He'd never had friends before and had no doubts that, with some, he wouldn't be as lonely. But he knew that if he did become friends with these-these normal boys, they'd eventually find out. They'd turn against him, shun and ridicule him just like everyone else did. He sighed mentally. But I just want some friends. Friends who will accept me for who and what I am. Friends who will take some of the loneliness out of my life. I guess maybe I could get close to them, but not too close. Who knows what could happen if they found out... ****** "Lupin, Remus," Professor McGonagall's stern voice called off her list. This is it, he thought nervously as he made his way to the stool. Now I'll be doomed to Slytherin. I just hope, that when they find out, they won't tease me too much. He sat on the stool and the Sorting Hat was placed upon his head. "Hmm..." it whispered in his ear. "a great mind, brilliant, quiet, but brave... I see a terrible secret (Remus tensed and thought Don't tell anyone!)... Don't worry, they can't hear us... Very loyal... Now, where to put you? How about GRIFFINDOR!" It shouted the last word for everyone to hear. McGonagall lifted the hat off his head and he walked quickly to the Griffindor table, dazed, despite the applause. Wow... I can't believe it. Me? Griffindor? He sat beside James, Sirius, and Peter, all of which had also been sorted into Griffindor. "What'd I tell you?" Sirius said, grinning. "I guess I owe you an apology." "Just be glad you're not over there with those two idiots!" James said happily, nodding towards the Slytherin table. Remus recognized Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, the ones who'd picked on Peter on the train, immediately. They were both glaring in his direction, with a look of utmost hatred and loathing plastered all over their unpleasant faces. Remus began to panic- did they know? But then he recalled that Sirius and James had mentioned trying to beat some manners into them. He shook himself mentally; he shouldn't be so parinoid. But years of experience taught him to be safe rather than sorry, cautious rather than reckless. Just then, "Wilde, Diana" became a Griffindor. Remus shifted his gaze from the Slytherins to the staff table and saw... her. The girl from the train. She smiled triumphantly upon hearing the Hat's decision and strode confidently over to the Griffindor table. She dropped into the nearest seat- the one right next to Remus. He felt his heart quicken and immediately knew that surely, he'd never felt the same about any girl before. But something about her instantly calmed him. Was it her warm smile or the kind words she offered? "Hello! Isn't it great? Griffindor! I heard that's the best house to be in!" "Uh- yeah. Congratulations!" "Thanks, you too. By the way-" she said, sticking out her hand, "my name's Diana. But you probably already knew that!"  
  
"I'm Remus... pleased to meet you." 


End file.
